Thursday, February 21, 2013

5 Morbidly Confusing and Inappropriate NES Moments Part 1


Naked guy's ass in public shower?  - from River City Ransom



Japanese game designers sure know how to always give the American kids what they want in a game; lots of fighting and kicking ass and... 8-bit Man-Ass? What the hell...? I mean, what kind of guy walks around beating the shit out of street thugs, stealing their coins... and then goes and pays to get naked in a public shower? There's tons of places in the game where you can just buy food and vitamins and stuff like that. What young kid wants to pick the one option to restore Health that makes him stare at naked dude ass?


Hitler's head explodes - from Bionic Commando




It's pretty hard not to enjoy this scene actually.. unless you're a neo-nazi. Bionic Commando was a pretty traditional game so to speak, but man did they crank up the fucking Weird at the end of the game. Hitler's head freaking exploding!


President of USA tells military veterans to Go To Hell  - from Operation Wolf



As if a military veteran failing his mission wasn't already bad enough.... damn! No trial or anything like that. The US Govt. straight up tells the soldiers to not even come home. I wish I could tell my dog that everytime he does something outside that I dislike.


Giant dead spider boss... who is already dead 
- from Monster Party



Making the first boss the easiest is generally a thing found in every game ever made, save just the NES ones. Monster Party went all-in on this one though, the first boss does himself in ahead of time enough to draw flies... but still maintains the capability to inform the player that he is in fact - dead.


Couple has sex in a graveyard, then Satan steals girl  - from Ghosts & Goblins



There's not alot of ways you can slice this one to make it NOT look like what it really IS. He's naked, she's dressed. There was no time to take off the wedding dress or find a place to consummate the marriage other than a surface 6-feet above rows of dead people. Oh... then Satan appears and takes her away... sure, why the fuck not?