We've all seen it for years; boxers and MMA fighters all have their own 'theme' music that they walk into the ring to meet their opponent. Well I've thought long and hard and have finally given to the world this list of the 5 most blood-boiling, combat-appropriate anthems. You're welcome.
1. James Brown - Living In America
This is your classic James Brown song; 90% of his lyrics barely sound like he's even using real words. I'm 99% sure there's a part in this song where he says "I see Eye to eye... with Lando's decision." Lando's decision? What do you mean, like... Lando from Star Wars' decision to betray Han Solo to save his own ass? That's fucking rotten. Anyway, basically this song brought Apollo Creed luck in his fight against Ivan Drago. I think? I haven't seen Rocky 4 in awhile, sorry.
2. Benny Mardones - Into The Night
As the song goes on, Benny Mardones talks about flying through the night and picking up the under-age girl and "showing her love like she's never seen." How did this song get written, recorded and then make it to top 40 radio? This is literary child pornography!
3. Baltimora - Tarzan Boy
Yes, the song from the early-1990's Listerine commercial. This song lets your adversary know that you are fresh and clean, but are also prone to stripping nude and running through the jungle.
4. Inner Circle - Sweat
An equal-ethnicity anthem that, while happy on the surface, makes 3 things perfectly clear to the man in the opposite corner.
1. Girl, I'm gonna make you sweat.
2. Sweat tills ya cant sweats no more
3. If you cry out, I'm going to push it push it some more
5. Van Halen - Right Now
This song is a definite good-omen song... and probably the least sexually-questionable of the last 4 songs (especially the one about Lando... what a dickface.) This song was the official song of Al Gore's dive-bombing political campaign, the official song for the biggest failure in soft-drink history; Crystal Clear Pepsi, and most importantly - this Van Halen song represented the demise of Van Halen itself (for the 2nd time).
